I did NOT choose this life.

v4nt4s:

i STILL don’t have the update I’m like 24601 runnin from javert his entire life all up in here

sirposey:

why is it such an important thing celebrate new year, same old shit man

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!! MAY THIS YEAR BE FILLED WITH MORE LIFE RUINING, FEELS, AND FANFICS THAT DON’T UPDATE

I just had the greatest moment ever with a little kid at the grocery store

Kid wearing a Batman shirt: *standing in the middle of the aisle and sees me, places his fists on his hips and looks at me* Batwoman.
Me, also wearing a Batman shirt: Batman.
Kid: Are you keeping Gotham safe?
Me: Yes. Have you captured the Joker?
Kid: Not yet, but soon. Keep up the good work. *he spins around quickly and runs the other direction*

“Everybody in the English-speaking world knows that song.”

wishful-geek:

do you ever casually say “i ship it” in a real life conversation then get strange looks from people who have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about because you forget it’s not part of normal people’s vocabulary

I think my whole school believes I am a boat maker or something.

(Source: copperbooms)

rilakkumao:

please never yell at me, there is a 100% chance i will cry

mem0rare:

vaginaraptor:

grimrapper:

maeduh:

i swear people get 500 times cuter when they talk about what they’re passionate about

unless its hitler

then it’s only nein times cuter

i am done

(Source: matsuis)

well it’s time for another joke by yours truly that will probably ruin my life

what’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies

snowballs

(Source: haleschristmasmoved)

i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman:

So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”. The teacher said “so you’re adopted”. THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.

sexybritishllama:

u never truly appreciate how nice it is to be able to breathe through your nose until u get a cold

georgetakei:

Maybe it was all a simple spelling error.

imtoldforthis:

found this in the window of the poster shop at our mall. so awesome. for once i love south bend university park mall. for once.